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2016 Auld Lang Syne Deadpool

Mon, 4th January 2016, 12:05

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2016! Have you resolved to change your life this year? Gonna head to the gym and work that holiday weight off? Well, if there's one thing that always motivates us here at HostJury, it's the bracing stench of the rancid dead. It's time for the first Deadpool of the year! (Make a wish!)

Emagin Hosting

Emagin Hosting: as in, emagin trusting your business to a provider that can't even spell imagine. A sudden domain expiration earns the good folks of Emagin our coveted First Blood of the Year award. The trophy is a tupperware container, and I'm pretty sure you can guess what's in it.

CaptureHost

Dead and gone is little­leaguer CaptureHost, and all that remains is a hundred of their offers for lifetime discount hosting! Gotta love those lifetime discounts­ like marriage, the intent is clearly eternal, and yet the reality is rarely so.

MingledHost

Perfect name, I mean really. They came, they mingled, and then they left.

Hosting Cove

"Hosting Cove provides customers a worry free service with no hidden contracts or fees." Judging by the awful buzz on WHT and their immediate demise, we may have to take issue with that assessment.

Elief

Sometimes while reading the deadpool you may wonder, what exactly is it that causes a hosting provider to go under? Well, we're not going to bury the lede on you, Elief's uptime rating was a 6... out of 100. What's more, HostJury reviews tell us that Elief has had multiple customers experience catastrophic data loss due to a failure to backup just about anything. We've had users come back to amend old positive reviews simply because the service had become so awful.

Before the end, it seems that Elief removed any and all contact information from their site. Truly, Elief seems to have been the worst possible webhost. May their tortured databases rest in peace.

Mariachi Host

Inside sources tell us that MariachiHost folded primarily because most customers found having Vicente Fernandez blaring through their speakers every time they accessed cPanel was a bit much. But props to MariachiHost for picking a gimmick and sticking to it.

Lewcy

A bit of a weird one: Lewcy transferred its service to offsight.co.uk, but that domain is for sale, and it doesn't seem like there's any forwarding address. We're chalking this up to a double kill.

Smart Web Hosting

Let it be known that we took the high ground and did not make a petty joke out of this webhost's name. Here's hoping there are some smarter options for Pakistani websites out there.

HostingX

Having given up the ghost, HostingX is reportedly moving on to much more interesting content, simply by adding two more X's to their name. Can't wait to uh, research how their next endeavor goes.

HostNucleus

"At HostNucleus, we're always looking for ways to improve your hosting experience." In this case, by strongly urging you to find it somewhere else.

PavHost

Despite their fairly solid reviews, PavHost has folded. Let's take a minute to cherish the memory of tech support worker Michael Long, one of few to be named in a HostJury review as an exceptional support agent. Rest in peace, you beautiful bastard. Hope you're resetting administrator passwords in the sky. Or just, like, not dead and working somewhere else. That's fine too.

Hillock Hosting

Hillock? Hillock? Was a regular hill just too exuberant to represent your company, guys? No wonder they tanked­ lack of ambition.

NoHelpHost

If I were tech support at this company, I would respond to every query for assistance by pointing to the logo on my shirt and just staring. There's technically no reason to believe that this happened to every single one of their customers, but you know what they say about proving a negative...

Oh, you don't? And you'd like to know? Read the shirt.

While there's little doubt that 2016 will continue to generate new lists of the dead and dying for the webhost deadpool, that doesn't mean we can't be kind to ourselves in the new year. One resolution that's easy to keep is reviewing the reviews before committing your project to a new web host!

 

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